Bhahaha. From this week’s Shouts & Murmurs, by Paul Rudnick: 

Alfred Kinsey believed that human sexuality could be charted on a scale of 0 to 6, with 0 being “Exclusively heterosexual” and 6 being “Exclusively homosexual.” Owing to changing cultural boundaries and advanced research, Kinsey’s scale has recently been expanded: 

… 12. You identify as bisexual because you think it will double your chances of getting a date for Saturday night.

13. You identify as bisexual because you think it sounds French.

14. So bisexual that you fantasize not only about both Brad and Angelina but also about Regis and Kelly.

15. So bisexual that you get Patti LuPone and Mandy Patinkin confused.